Wednesday, March 07, 2007
Only Ninety Minutes of Our Time
So Watersyne and I are in the mall a few weeks ago and there's a Porsche there and you can fill out a card and drop it in the box, supposedly giving you a "chance to win!" I know there's absolutely, unequivocally zero chance I will win a Porsche (has anyone actually ever seen one of these given away?) but I decide to fill one out anyway and I encourage her to do the same.
Watersyne chides me for it, saying "Do you really think you're going to win a Porsche?"
"Probably not," I concede, "but it costs nothing to fill out the card."
"What do they need your address for?" she asks.
"Probably because they're going to call in a week or two and say we won some bullshit shopping spree or a free trip and all we have to do is come listen to a seminar on time-share."
"That's stupid," she concludes.
I continue filling out my card and point out that if I win the car, I'm going to remind her she said the whole thing was stupid and that she won't be allowed to drive it because of that. Before I know it, she's filling out a card next to me, and I think she said something about hoping she wins so she can hold it over me.
True to form, I get a message from some woman saying -- surprise! -- my card was pulled and I've won four airline tickets and a $1,000 online shopping spree if I call her back and go to a stupid-ass, high-pressure sales pitch for something. She doesn't say anything about the catch beyond asking I call her back but I know it's coming so I delete the message and go about my day.
The next day, I'm on the phone with Watersyne and she tells me all about the phone call she got about winning four airline tickets and a $1,000 online shopping spree.
"Yeah, I got the same call," I said. "I ignored it. I told you that would happen, remember?"
"Well, but... why did you do it then?" she asks.
"On the tiny chance I might win a Porsche."
*Deep sigh from Watersyne, the kind I get when I'm being frustrating*
"We just need to go for ninety minutes," she says, "It's only ninety minutes of our time."
I tell her no way and that it's a ruse and complete bullshit and annoying and that she's the kind of sucker they're looking for and... no way. And 90 minutes is a long time.
"But it's a $1,000 online shopping spree," she reminds me, not for the first time.
Not being able ot think of a way out, I counter with: "Can I just pay you $1,000 so we don't have to go to this?"
It's these kinds of strong negotiating skills that are going to make me a pushover with kids one day.
Watersyne chides me for it, saying "Do you really think you're going to win a Porsche?"
"Probably not," I concede, "but it costs nothing to fill out the card."
"What do they need your address for?" she asks.
"Probably because they're going to call in a week or two and say we won some bullshit shopping spree or a free trip and all we have to do is come listen to a seminar on time-share."
"That's stupid," she concludes.
I continue filling out my card and point out that if I win the car, I'm going to remind her she said the whole thing was stupid and that she won't be allowed to drive it because of that. Before I know it, she's filling out a card next to me, and I think she said something about hoping she wins so she can hold it over me.
True to form, I get a message from some woman saying -- surprise! -- my card was pulled and I've won four airline tickets and a $1,000 online shopping spree if I call her back and go to a stupid-ass, high-pressure sales pitch for something. She doesn't say anything about the catch beyond asking I call her back but I know it's coming so I delete the message and go about my day.
The next day, I'm on the phone with Watersyne and she tells me all about the phone call she got about winning four airline tickets and a $1,000 online shopping spree.
"Yeah, I got the same call," I said. "I ignored it. I told you that would happen, remember?"
"Well, but... why did you do it then?" she asks.
"On the tiny chance I might win a Porsche."
*Deep sigh from Watersyne, the kind I get when I'm being frustrating*
"We just need to go for ninety minutes," she says, "It's only ninety minutes of our time."
I tell her no way and that it's a ruse and complete bullshit and annoying and that she's the kind of sucker they're looking for and... no way. And 90 minutes is a long time.
"But it's a $1,000 online shopping spree," she reminds me, not for the first time.
Not being able ot think of a way out, I counter with: "Can I just pay you $1,000 so we don't have to go to this?"
It's these kinds of strong negotiating skills that are going to make me a pushover with kids one day.
Labels: Porsches, shopping, tree trunks
