Sunday, April 08, 2007
Typical
So we spent this past weekend in Maine visiting Xtrosity and his lovely wife and on the way up there, my car was doing a nauseating shimmy-shaking thing all the way. I had diagnosed loose lug nuts and, in fact, found three of the five on my front left wheel to be loose enough for me to undo with my fingers. Nice. Well-done, Lynnes Nissan West of Stanhope, NJ. I had them swap out my winter tires for my summer ones last week and they obviously didn't finish the job correctly. Must have been distracted by a shiny object. Jackasses.
I assumed that the continued shimmy was the result of balance or alignment issues so we brought the car into a dealer on Saturday morning to have that checked out. I made the mistake of wearing my Yankees cap in New England.
The typical mouth-breathing putz behind the counter sees my Jersey plates and begins with, "Giants ohr Jets?"
"Giants," I immediately respond, knowing full-well Patriots fans hate the Jets.
"Probably shouldn't have worn that Yankees hat up here," X helpfully points out.
Mouth-breather begins again, "You know, the Yankees ahre my favorite ansuh to ah triviah question..."
"I know, the 3-0 blown lead in the 2004 playoffs, right?" I ask, hoping to head him off. I clearly stepped on his awesome joke and he sort of quieted for a minute and kept entering my info into his...compuhtah. But even though I'd headed him off, he still wanted to put his Yankee-hatred out there.
"Yeah...who ahre the biggest choke ahtists of awl time?"
I bit my tongue and didn't point out that if the Yankees were chokers, then does that mean the Red Sawx didn't earn that win? I don't know. All I said was that he had access to my brake lines that day so I would remain quiet. He smirked. But he chose not to remain silent.
"Yeah, I figuah that makes up for at least ten of those twenty-six World Series," he concluded.
Yes, you keep telling yourselves that.
I assumed that the continued shimmy was the result of balance or alignment issues so we brought the car into a dealer on Saturday morning to have that checked out. I made the mistake of wearing my Yankees cap in New England.
The typical mouth-breathing putz behind the counter sees my Jersey plates and begins with, "Giants ohr Jets?"
"Giants," I immediately respond, knowing full-well Patriots fans hate the Jets.
"Probably shouldn't have worn that Yankees hat up here," X helpfully points out.
Mouth-breather begins again, "You know, the Yankees ahre my favorite ansuh to ah triviah question..."
"I know, the 3-0 blown lead in the 2004 playoffs, right?" I ask, hoping to head him off. I clearly stepped on his awesome joke and he sort of quieted for a minute and kept entering my info into his...compuhtah. But even though I'd headed him off, he still wanted to put his Yankee-hatred out there.
"Yeah...who ahre the biggest choke ahtists of awl time?"
I bit my tongue and didn't point out that if the Yankees were chokers, then does that mean the Red Sawx didn't earn that win? I don't know. All I said was that he had access to my brake lines that day so I would remain quiet. He smirked. But he chose not to remain silent.
"Yeah, I figuah that makes up for at least ten of those twenty-six World Series," he concluded.
Yes, you keep telling yourselves that.
Labels: bent wheels, morons, pahk the cah in hahvad yahd
