Wednesday, September 05, 2007
Oh, But Wait, There's More
Following up on the below story regarding how disgusting old pillows that have become frayed and threadbare must be thrown out, I'd like to share part 2 of the story.
Just a few short days later, while my lovely wife was partying like a rock star in NYC at a bachelorette party, I was doing some womanly things around the house, like cleaning up and doing laundry.
Ah, yes, laundry. Being the good husband I am trying to be, I, of course, included all of our laundry as I plowed through the many loads that needed to be done. Laundry is a simple task when you're a bachelor -- it gets considerably more complicated when a wife is involved. Or maybe just when my wife is involved. Either way, now there are panties introduced to the mix. And goodness, those are just the tiniest things ever. Thongs. We all have happy memories of thongs, usually stemming from the first time we slipped them off an unsuspecting, passed out female at a frat party.*
Well, thongs are far less fun when you need to wash, dry and -- yes -- fold them. But there I was, dutifully doing laundry and folding load after load (as my wife partied away in Manhattan), when I came across two thongs that really stood out.
They stood out because they were far more trashes than my poor Pac Man pillow. They were fraying, threadbare, coming apart... and yet they were still in circulation. Now, come on, if I have a pair of boxers that goes threadbare and rips so that my beanbag hangs out, I'm required to dispose of them immediately. Right? Aren't we all? So why are these two thongs still in circulation?
I asked that very question once my wife was sober and coherent enough to discuss it the following day.
"Those fit me just right," she explained, "and I don't want to stop using them because they're comfortable."
Really. Kind of like a favorite pillow. I mean, I'm just saying. But like most of my points, this one was dismissed and away she walked. I had lost again.
I'm sensing a double-standard here.
*Note: Implication of sexual advancement while under the influence of alcohol meant solely as a joke.
Just a few short days later, while my lovely wife was partying like a rock star in NYC at a bachelorette party, I was doing some womanly things around the house, like cleaning up and doing laundry.
Ah, yes, laundry. Being the good husband I am trying to be, I, of course, included all of our laundry as I plowed through the many loads that needed to be done. Laundry is a simple task when you're a bachelor -- it gets considerably more complicated when a wife is involved. Or maybe just when my wife is involved. Either way, now there are panties introduced to the mix. And goodness, those are just the tiniest things ever. Thongs. We all have happy memories of thongs, usually stemming from the first time we slipped them off an unsuspecting, passed out female at a frat party.*
Well, thongs are far less fun when you need to wash, dry and -- yes -- fold them. But there I was, dutifully doing laundry and folding load after load (as my wife partied away in Manhattan), when I came across two thongs that really stood out.
They stood out because they were far more trashes than my poor Pac Man pillow. They were fraying, threadbare, coming apart... and yet they were still in circulation. Now, come on, if I have a pair of boxers that goes threadbare and rips so that my beanbag hangs out, I'm required to dispose of them immediately. Right? Aren't we all? So why are these two thongs still in circulation?
I asked that very question once my wife was sober and coherent enough to discuss it the following day.
"Those fit me just right," she explained, "and I don't want to stop using them because they're comfortable."
Really. Kind of like a favorite pillow. I mean, I'm just saying. But like most of my points, this one was dismissed and away she walked. I had lost again.
I'm sensing a double-standard here.
*Note: Implication of sexual advancement while under the influence of alcohol meant solely as a joke.
Labels: drunk chicks, panties, skivvies, thongs, undies
Comments:
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Well isn't it a good thing that I don't have a beanbag to hang out of the threadbare. Guess I can keep them!
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# posted by 
: 9:28 PM
: 9:28 PM<< Home
