Monday, November 19, 2007
Would You Prefer One Angry Mob Or Two Angry Mobs?
A logical person would probably say the fewer angry mobs the better, and would thus choose one. Continental Airlines does not fall into that category.
Last week I was working in Texas for the week and I began in Houston and then headed to Dallas for some training. I set my travel itinerary up to have me come home from Newark from Dallas on Thursday evening after my training ended. I had an appointment at 9:30 on Friday morning to have all four of my wisdom teeth out. My flight out of Dallas was scheduled for 7:30 Thursday evening.
The first sign that something was wrong was that the 5:40 PM flight to Newark was still not boarded when I approached my gate.
However, they were saying the 7:30 was still on time, which got me thinking both flights might get to Newark at the same time. Silly, silly me.
They came over the PA and announced that a part that the 5:40 flight's plane needed was on its way from Houston and would be there by 8 PM. I kind of chuckled, thinking how unfortunate for them that they were on the earlier flight and will end up getting home later. Suckers.
Time went by and they announced that the 7:30 flight passengers should head to Gate E10 (instead of E8 where the 5:40 people were). So we shuffled over there and I began reading my book. Soon, they had the 5:40 people boarding and our flight was, predictably, a little behind schedule. No big deal, this always happens heading to Newark.
After the 5:40 people were gone and nobody appeared to be manning Gate E10, a few of us became suspicious and sauntered back over to Gate E8 to see what was going on. Now the board there said our flight on it. So sending us to E10 was apparently a distraction technique. Nothing like a little misdirection and espionage mixed with your air travel.
Soon they came onto the PA and announced the part that our flight was waiting for was not there yet and we were delayed.
Um, excuse me? Our plane wasn't broken. Unless.... oh, no they didn't... Yes, yes, they did.
They gave our plane to the 5:40 people.
Mothers.
Now we were a bit pissed and I kept asking those around me why they'd now want two planeloads of pissed off people being late rather than just the one flight. Nobody had an answer. But the flight from Houston had to be there soon, I figured, so this wouldn't last long.
Until it turned out the part wasn't coming from Houston anymore. Did they forget it? Did they drop it out of the plane? Your guess is as good as mine, but the Houston flight got there and there was no part. So they "looked around" for one in Dallas -- which isn't exactly a small airport, mind you -- and then came back and dashed our hopes again: no mysterious part in Dallas. It would have to be flown in.
At one point, I made the "Maybe it's a fetzer valve" joke, but nobody got it.
So where are we going to get this part? The clock is ticking away, of course, as it tends to do, and it's now approaching 9 PM. I had spent 20-30 mins on the phone with Continental trying to find a new way home and they came to the conclusion that sticking with my flight -- whenever it might leave -- was going to be my best bet. I asked at the counter what time the first flight in thr morning left. I figured, maybe I should just sleep a few hours and come back. There's a 5:30 AM flight from Newark to Houston so maybe there's an early one out of Dallas and I could still make my oral surgery at 9:30.
The first flight out of Dallas to Newark is 7 AM. Seven? Where the hell are we, Italy? The earliest flight on a weekday is 7 AM?? Ridiculous. It didn't matter anyway because all the flights to Newark the following day were already booked solid with many people who had already bailed on the 7:30 flight ever leaving. Which made me nervous. What happens if the flight is eventually cancelled? Hotel rooms might be scarce. I asked this very question out loud and one of the frequent travelers said, "Then you sleep on the floor over there." Nice.
Finally, they came on to tell us that the part was on its was to Dallas.... from Newark. Outstanding. And that flight wasn't getting in until 11:27 PM. Central time. Then it would be a 30 minute fix and we'd be on our way. Which, you know, when you're already going to be four or five hours behind schedule, I'd just as soon you not rush a mechanical fix.
And when people didn't hear the announcement clearly -- and it's understandable why people were confused since we were getting a different story every ten minutes -- the gate woman actually had the balls to say something along the lines of, "Okay, I'm going to say this one more time..."
Check your 'tude, missy. You're getting paid to stand there.
They then announced they'd be giving us "food vouchers" since we were going to be so inconvenienced. The food vouchers had a whopping $8 value, whieh we all know goes a long, long way in an airport. And Terminal E was completely shut down already, including the Continental Presidents Club Lounge. So many of us took the tram over to Terminal D, which was much nicer and still had some open restaurants, including an Irish Pub that was absolutely rocking. I had a bite to eat and two vodkas and was feeling rather smashed. They were delicious. I was told to be back at the gate by 11:15 PM and the bar began shutting down at about 10:20. Stellar. What do I do now? Nothing was open anymore. Apparently, unlike the NY area airports, things do shut down in Texas.
I meandered my way back to Terminal E, having to very carefully read the tram signs in my slightly hazy state. We boarded up around 11:30 and got off the ground at 12 midnight. I had nobody in my row and I was sitting by the window, planning to eventually stretch out. But I nodded off.
When I woke up, there was a big bag in the aisle seat that said "Lavatory supplied." Ick. I nodded back off.
I woke up again and there was a black gentleman smiling at me in the aisle seat. Was I hallucinating? Was I already under anaesthesia? I nodded back off.
When I awoke, he was now laying in the two seats next to me and way too close to me. Dammit. This is hell.
We apparently broke the speed limit up there because we landed in Newark at 3:45 AM, just 2 hours and 45 minutes of flying time. When taxiing in, they stopped and said we caught them off guard. Gosh, imagine if we'd gotten in four hours earlier like we were supposed to. They woulda been really flummoxed then.
I got off the plan and headed to baggage claim around 4 AM. It was weird. But the McDonalds and another couple of food joints were actually open in EWR. Passing the security area was weird because there were people in line to come in. And it took me a minute to process that if you had perhaps one of those 5:30 AM flights out, that you might be at the airport a little after 4 AM. Weird.
Got my bags and headed to my car, which said 4:25 AM as I got in. Drove home and walked into the house and heard the TV my lovely wife had left on in the bedroom. It was on NBC and it was exactly 5 AM and Today In New York was coming on. So weird!
Three hours of sleep and then off to the oral surgeon. What a wonderful couple of days.
Last week I was working in Texas for the week and I began in Houston and then headed to Dallas for some training. I set my travel itinerary up to have me come home from Newark from Dallas on Thursday evening after my training ended. I had an appointment at 9:30 on Friday morning to have all four of my wisdom teeth out. My flight out of Dallas was scheduled for 7:30 Thursday evening.
The first sign that something was wrong was that the 5:40 PM flight to Newark was still not boarded when I approached my gate.
However, they were saying the 7:30 was still on time, which got me thinking both flights might get to Newark at the same time. Silly, silly me.
They came over the PA and announced that a part that the 5:40 flight's plane needed was on its way from Houston and would be there by 8 PM. I kind of chuckled, thinking how unfortunate for them that they were on the earlier flight and will end up getting home later. Suckers.
Time went by and they announced that the 7:30 flight passengers should head to Gate E10 (instead of E8 where the 5:40 people were). So we shuffled over there and I began reading my book. Soon, they had the 5:40 people boarding and our flight was, predictably, a little behind schedule. No big deal, this always happens heading to Newark.
After the 5:40 people were gone and nobody appeared to be manning Gate E10, a few of us became suspicious and sauntered back over to Gate E8 to see what was going on. Now the board there said our flight on it. So sending us to E10 was apparently a distraction technique. Nothing like a little misdirection and espionage mixed with your air travel.
Soon they came onto the PA and announced the part that our flight was waiting for was not there yet and we were delayed.
Um, excuse me? Our plane wasn't broken. Unless.... oh, no they didn't... Yes, yes, they did.
They gave our plane to the 5:40 people.
Mothers.
Now we were a bit pissed and I kept asking those around me why they'd now want two planeloads of pissed off people being late rather than just the one flight. Nobody had an answer. But the flight from Houston had to be there soon, I figured, so this wouldn't last long.
Until it turned out the part wasn't coming from Houston anymore. Did they forget it? Did they drop it out of the plane? Your guess is as good as mine, but the Houston flight got there and there was no part. So they "looked around" for one in Dallas -- which isn't exactly a small airport, mind you -- and then came back and dashed our hopes again: no mysterious part in Dallas. It would have to be flown in.
At one point, I made the "Maybe it's a fetzer valve" joke, but nobody got it.
So where are we going to get this part? The clock is ticking away, of course, as it tends to do, and it's now approaching 9 PM. I had spent 20-30 mins on the phone with Continental trying to find a new way home and they came to the conclusion that sticking with my flight -- whenever it might leave -- was going to be my best bet. I asked at the counter what time the first flight in thr morning left. I figured, maybe I should just sleep a few hours and come back. There's a 5:30 AM flight from Newark to Houston so maybe there's an early one out of Dallas and I could still make my oral surgery at 9:30.
The first flight out of Dallas to Newark is 7 AM. Seven? Where the hell are we, Italy? The earliest flight on a weekday is 7 AM?? Ridiculous. It didn't matter anyway because all the flights to Newark the following day were already booked solid with many people who had already bailed on the 7:30 flight ever leaving. Which made me nervous. What happens if the flight is eventually cancelled? Hotel rooms might be scarce. I asked this very question out loud and one of the frequent travelers said, "Then you sleep on the floor over there." Nice.
Finally, they came on to tell us that the part was on its was to Dallas.... from Newark. Outstanding. And that flight wasn't getting in until 11:27 PM. Central time. Then it would be a 30 minute fix and we'd be on our way. Which, you know, when you're already going to be four or five hours behind schedule, I'd just as soon you not rush a mechanical fix.
And when people didn't hear the announcement clearly -- and it's understandable why people were confused since we were getting a different story every ten minutes -- the gate woman actually had the balls to say something along the lines of, "Okay, I'm going to say this one more time..."
Check your 'tude, missy. You're getting paid to stand there.
They then announced they'd be giving us "food vouchers" since we were going to be so inconvenienced. The food vouchers had a whopping $8 value, whieh we all know goes a long, long way in an airport. And Terminal E was completely shut down already, including the Continental Presidents Club Lounge. So many of us took the tram over to Terminal D, which was much nicer and still had some open restaurants, including an Irish Pub that was absolutely rocking. I had a bite to eat and two vodkas and was feeling rather smashed. They were delicious. I was told to be back at the gate by 11:15 PM and the bar began shutting down at about 10:20. Stellar. What do I do now? Nothing was open anymore. Apparently, unlike the NY area airports, things do shut down in Texas.
I meandered my way back to Terminal E, having to very carefully read the tram signs in my slightly hazy state. We boarded up around 11:30 and got off the ground at 12 midnight. I had nobody in my row and I was sitting by the window, planning to eventually stretch out. But I nodded off.
When I woke up, there was a big bag in the aisle seat that said "Lavatory supplied." Ick. I nodded back off.
I woke up again and there was a black gentleman smiling at me in the aisle seat. Was I hallucinating? Was I already under anaesthesia? I nodded back off.
When I awoke, he was now laying in the two seats next to me and way too close to me. Dammit. This is hell.
We apparently broke the speed limit up there because we landed in Newark at 3:45 AM, just 2 hours and 45 minutes of flying time. When taxiing in, they stopped and said we caught them off guard. Gosh, imagine if we'd gotten in four hours earlier like we were supposed to. They woulda been really flummoxed then.
I got off the plan and headed to baggage claim around 4 AM. It was weird. But the McDonalds and another couple of food joints were actually open in EWR. Passing the security area was weird because there were people in line to come in. And it took me a minute to process that if you had perhaps one of those 5:30 AM flights out, that you might be at the airport a little after 4 AM. Weird.
Got my bags and headed to my car, which said 4:25 AM as I got in. Drove home and walked into the house and heard the TV my lovely wife had left on in the bedroom. It was on NBC and it was exactly 5 AM and Today In New York was coming on. So weird!
Three hours of sleep and then off to the oral surgeon. What a wonderful couple of days.
Labels: Continental Airlines likes making people mad, unintentional redeye flights
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