Thursday, October 23, 2008
Take It Easy On The Stapler, Milton
You know, I took a better position at my company to move to Houston last year and one of the trade-offs, minor as it may be, was that in our Houston office, I no longer qualify for my own office. Back in Jersey, the rules were different and you got one a lot earler. So I'm in the unique position of having been promoted to a better job, with a more senior title, paid more.... and yet had to give up my office.
It honestly doesn't bother me much, and not at all from the ego perspective. So what if I don't have an office -- I can just work hard to get to the next level and then that issue is resolved. What does bother me is the lack of a door to close when everyone begins pissing me off. Which is frequent.
There's a woman diagonally from me who, for one thing, is a 40-year smoker and sounds like it. It truly sounds like she's got a fishtank for lungs. If she laughs at all, it immediately descends into a garbly, liquified-sounding, choking cough.
But the thing that's also annoying about her and motivated me to write this is the fact that she's frail as hell and that is the only thing I can think of to explain how she uses a stapler.
You know how most of us normal, sentient beings put the ball of our hand over the stapler and press down to staple things? Well, she doesn't do that. For some ungodly reason, she slides the paper into place and then -- WHAM -- pounds down on the stapler to complete the transaction. Completely unnecessary. And far more likely to break her brittle old bones, weakened by years of nicotine intake.
It sounds minor, I know. But if you've worked in a cube farm in your life, you know exactly what I'm talking about with regard to those little habits that make you want to punch someone in the face. Unless you are that person with the idiotic habits and the lack of self-awareness. In which case... punch yourself in the face for me.
It honestly doesn't bother me much, and not at all from the ego perspective. So what if I don't have an office -- I can just work hard to get to the next level and then that issue is resolved. What does bother me is the lack of a door to close when everyone begins pissing me off. Which is frequent.
There's a woman diagonally from me who, for one thing, is a 40-year smoker and sounds like it. It truly sounds like she's got a fishtank for lungs. If she laughs at all, it immediately descends into a garbly, liquified-sounding, choking cough.
But the thing that's also annoying about her and motivated me to write this is the fact that she's frail as hell and that is the only thing I can think of to explain how she uses a stapler.
You know how most of us normal, sentient beings put the ball of our hand over the stapler and press down to staple things? Well, she doesn't do that. For some ungodly reason, she slides the paper into place and then -- WHAM -- pounds down on the stapler to complete the transaction. Completely unnecessary. And far more likely to break her brittle old bones, weakened by years of nicotine intake.
It sounds minor, I know. But if you've worked in a cube farm in your life, you know exactly what I'm talking about with regard to those little habits that make you want to punch someone in the face. Unless you are that person with the idiotic habits and the lack of self-awareness. In which case... punch yourself in the face for me.
Labels: hey you want more posts this is what you get, staplers
